New version of lazy weekends

Before we went to bed on Saturday night, Shawn said he couldn't wait to sleep in on Sunday morning. I looked at Emma and said, "Honey, Emma doesn't know what weekends are." Sure enough, my little love was awake at 7:00am. I fed her for a while, and then let Shawn have some daddy daughter time while I made blueberry pancakes. We ate them on our patio before it started raining. Emma wore one of the new outfits her Grandparents bought for her. The rest of the day went about the same as every other day; sleep, wake to get a clean diaper, breastfeed, sleep again, with a little bit of quite alert time in between.

She smiled at me the other morning. As she was waking, I said good morning, and she gave me a big smile. I don't know if they are supposed to be smiling yet, but it sure looked like she did. Aside from having a cold and not being able to get better because I am constantly caring for Emma, things are going well. I am getting more confident in my mothering skills, and am absolutely in love with my little girl. She is focusing on my face really well, I get lost in her eyes. And when she falls asleep curled up on my chest, I don't care that there are a million things I could be doing while she sleeps.
















Look at my little crazy haired girl :)

My little girl is one month old

Emma and her parents.




This is Emma in her Easter outfit.

We are doing much better. Breastfeeding is pretty much under control, she isn't killing my nipples anymore, which is fantastic! She is letting me sleep for 2-4 hours at a time at night followed by a few 2 hour naps throughout the night. Thanks to Shanti, we have discovered that she sleeps pretty well in her car seat. We have two, thanks to Leah and my co-worker Allison so we keep one in the bedroom and the other is for the car. Emma was 7 pounds 9 ounces almost 2 weeks ago, but I am sure she weighs more now. Her ears look bigger to me. She has been getting fussy in the evenings, and eats constantly from around 7-11pm. Unfortunately Shawn doesn't get much happy time with her before she starts her fussiness because he gets home between 4 and 5.

My parents are visiting and are being great. I haven't had to cook, do dishes, or fold laundry for many days. Alyson is going to make a few meals to freeze for us. I have been able to take a shower in the mornings every day, and have even had a few naps. Emma loves her grandparents. Alyson is really good at putting Emma to sleep, and Dad has been singing the Asari Asara song that I remember him singing to my sisters, and I know he sang to me. It's very cute. They bought us a swing for Emma and she seems to like it a lot. It buys us a few minutes to take care of ourselves.

It is 8:00 and she is mid fussy, so I must return to being the human pacifier!

The first two weeks

I was so wrapped up in preparing for labor and birth, and warding against complications like epidurals, inductions, and c-sections, that it didn't occur to me that we would have any problems postpartum. I was so proud of my labor and birth, I thought everything else would be just as smooth. Wrong. Breastfeeding was a little tender for the first day, and I just thought I wasn't getting Emma to open wide enough to get all of my nipple in her mouth. She was feeding every 2 hours for almost an hour each time. By Friday night, my nipples were cracked and bleeding, and I had the tell-tale red streaks on my breasts of mastitis. It felt like someone was driving red hot needles through the center of my nipples. I got on antibiotics, but cried all Friday night through Saturday morning. I pumped a little bit to give my breasts a break for a feed or two, but I was a big mess by Saturday night. I had a lactation consult on Monday, but that was very far away. An old student called to see how I was doing and could tell that I was not okay. She works at a birth center in DC that has lactation teams that do home visits. She and a friend came over at 10:30 on Saturday night. They took one look at Emma and said, "Anne, she's tongue tied! Look at her frenulum." The little thing that connects the tongue to the floor of the mouth was actually connected to her lower jaw so she couldn't get her tongue out of her mouth. So for 4 days, she was chewing on my nipples every time she fed, and couldn't get satisfied. I pumped for all Saturday night through Monday morning.

At our lactation consult on Monday, she confirmed my friend's diagnosis. It is a quick procedure where they just snip the frenulum, most of the time it is done in the office. We went hopefully to our pediatrician that afternoon. Our doctor told us they didn't do the procedure in the office, but got us an appointment first thing the next morning with an ENT doc in Laurel. I continued pumping and tried to give Emma the breast every third feed so she wouldn't forget what she was supposed to be doing. Tuesday morning we met with the ENT who started telling us that he liked to do the procedure under gas anesthesia and that someone from the office would call with an appointment for Friday or early next week at the latest. I almost burst into tears right then and there. I said, "She can't breastfeed, I have mastitis and this needs to be fixed as soon as possible!" His reply was, "You can just pump. I know this seems like an emergency to you, but it really is an elective procedure." Elective?!? I can't feed my child! His compromise was to get us an appointment on Thursday with another doctor who does the quick snip in office. I cried the whole way home.

When we got home, I asked Shawn to call around to find where that doctor was and to get us in sooner. 20 minutes later we were back in the car and headed to the Glen Burnie office. They were very nice there and the nurse was quite apologetic because she was the one who made us the appointment with the doctor who wouldn't help us. The new guy came in, talked a bit, and did a quick snip. He said it hurts about as much as getting a shot. Shawn held Emma, I don't think I could have done it. We went home hopeful that our woes were over.

I tried to breastfeed all Tuesday, but the sharp pains were back in my nipples. We went back to the lactation consultant on Wednesday, and she diagnosed me with thrush. She gave me some nipple shields to give my nipples a break, and told me to call my midwives to get some antifungal nipple cream for me, and the pediatrician to get some antifungal for Emma's mouth. So now, I am almost done with the antibiotics, Emma and I are continuing our antifungals for another week, and we are weaning ourselves off of the nipple shields.

Things are much better now. Emma has been sleeping 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours stretches at night (except for last night when she fed just about every hour from 12 to 5 am) and is feeding well. We are all much happier. She is up to 7 pounds now and actually has a few outfits that she fits into. Shawn is back at work and we are trying to find a rhythm. I am trying to sleep when she sleeps, but sometimes I have to eat! All in all, I am settling into motherhood and I like it.