Labor was intense

When last we spoke, I was sitting on a birthing ball in my kitchen and the contractions were just starting to make themselves known. My labor was fairly short, but very intense and I am pleased with how it went. After some time on the ball in the kitchen, I decided to try to get some sleep. I laid down with Shawn for a little while, but every time I dozed off, a contraction would come and I would have to wake up and breath through it. I gave up and took the ball into the guest bedroom where I hoped to be able to lean on the bed and rest between them.

By 1am, I wasn't able to keep myself calm through them and I woke Shawn up to help me. Hypnobirthing was working fairly well, but I needed help. Shawn put on our relaxation music and rubbed my back while I sat on the ball and leaned on the bed. By 3am things were really intense. I could hear my toning during the contractions getting deeper and more guttural. When I had to vomit, I thought to myself, "Anne, you sound like you are in good active labor. It's time to go to the birth center." Shawn called the midwife who was in another delivery so didn't call us back for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, I was struggling to keep calm and not looking forward to the car ride. The only way I could deal with the contractions, was sitting on the birthing ball with Shawn rubbing my back. The car ride was as awful as I imagined it would be, and I moaned through every contraction while trying to get into a better position. Shawn kept trying to relax me, but it was pretty useless. Once we got to the birth center, it was another challenge to get from the car to the center. I remember squatting in the elevator while Shawn held the "door open" button and said, "Baby, can we just get out of the elevator?" Once inside, I saw with relief that Jen was filling the jacuzzi, and there was a birthing ball waiting for me. I fell onto the ball, and felt a little more in control.

After starting my IV for penicillin to treat my GBS and listening to the baby's heartbeat, Jen checked my cervix. I was so proud to be 5 cm, halfway there! I got in the tub hoping for some good relief, but was disappointed to still feel the contractions just as strongly. I just withdrew even more completely into myself, chanted my birth affirmations, and OOooooooooed through each contraction.

I was in a very interesting state of consciousness. I was aware of Shawn talking to me, but I couldn't answer him. I remember thinking very clear thoughts between contractions, from the mundane like what happened on a recent TV show, to wishing there was a dimmer switch on the bathroom lights. Then when the contraction would hit, I would just start moaning until it went away. I tried to keep my body as limp as possible and just go with my labor, but once in a while I would have a really intense contraction and panic. My moans would become higher pitched and I would try to run away from them and tense my whole body. Shawn was with me the whole time, rubbing my back and encouraging me. When my moans would get too high, he would tell me to lower the pitch. When I got too tense, he would help me to relax. I remember him telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me, I just couldn't vocalize anything back.

When I got to 7cm, the urge to push hit me. I couldn't help but bear down with some of the contractions. Jen said my cervix was stretchy enough to handle the limited pushing, so I just listened to my body and went with it. A little while later, Jen declared me fully dilated and gave me permission to push as needed. I seemed to feel the baby descending, so I checked myself and felt a big, fat anterior lip of cervix. That's when the cervix is open everywhere except at the top. I told Jen I thought there was a lip and asked her to reduce it for me. Holy Crap that hurt!!! The rest of labor was intense, but mainly felt like extreme tightening of my uterus and terrible back pain, but having my lip reduced hurt so bad it made me want to vomit. I was trying to push as she pushed up the bit of cervix, but it wasn't very effective. By that time, Kimla came to relieve Jen, but since I was so close, they both stayed with me. Jen said the words that I have told so

many of my patients, "Push where it hurts the most. Don't run away from it." It turns out that Emma was OP. That means she was facing up, instead of down, and makes pushing much harder, especially for a first timer. I had to get out of the tub to push more effectively. That's about when the cliched phrase of, "I don't want to do this anymore" came out of my mouth and everyone laughed at me.

I tried walking and lunging to turn her little head, and ended up squatting for most of the rest of pushing. Once things felt like they were moving well, I got onto the bed in a side lying position laying in Shawn's lap. Feeling Emma's head moving down, and seeing her head bulging through my perineum was surreal. I have seen it so many times from the other end of the bed, looking down and seeing my own baby emerge from my body was incredible. Once her head was out, I

forgot that I had to keep pushing. She had a nuchal cord that was too tight to reduce, so Jen delivered through it and brought the baby right up to my chest. Shawn and I held her together and we rubbed her little back until she got nice and pink and had better tone. Shawn was crying so much, his tears were falling into my eyes. I asked, "Shawn, what do we have?" and spread her little legs to reveal that we had a daughter. That brought on a whole new wave of tears. We cut her cord together and just snuggled while Jen tried to put my labia back together.

We had a few hours of new family bonding time before we were ready to go home. We breastfed well (or so I thought, but that's another story) got dressed, packed up, and were home 5 hours after Emmaline Grace was born. There was no cell service in the birth center, so the car ride home was for calling family. I was so proud of myself for having gone through labor and birth without medication and to have been in the birth center. Hypnobirthing worked pretty well and I was pleased. I wouldn't say it was "an easy, comfortable birth," but it was manageable. We have a beautiful daughter who has not let me write this birth story until now that she is 2 weeks old. I hope to update my blog soon with the first 2 week woes, which were much more complicated than I thought they would be! Things are better now, she is feeding well and gaining weight. I am thoroughly in love with my little girl, and Shawn is a great daddy. He went back to work today and Emma has been crying a lot more today. I think she misses him.

There are great pictures both on Shawn's blog smseifert.blogspot.com and his photo site smseifert.zenfolio.com