Planned home birth; just not exactly as planned.

Genevieve Paige's birth story

Our birth was wonderful and nothing like I planned! We had been planing a home birth with M.A.M.A.S midwifery since the moment I got pregnant. I had been diligent about my prenatal care, my birth kit had been packed since 36 weeks, the back-up plan was typed up with all hospital phone numbers handy, I was ready.

On Easter Sunday, my water broke at 5:25am. I was in bed, felt a little bit of pressure, thought I should go sit on the toilet just in case, but instead just moved the pillows from between my legs. It wasn't a super lot, but there was enough vernix in it that I knew what it was. I listened to the baby's heartbeat, and all was well. About 20 minutes later, I started having very mild contractions about every 5 minutes or so. I sent Shawn downstairs to prep for Easter brunch, which I still thought I would have time to host. (Such a dumbass!) I stayed in bed and tried to snooze some more. I did my hypnobirthing relaxation scripts for a while and contractions continued to come every 5-7 minutes. They weren't really intense, so I pretty much ignored them. I took a shower, then Shawn stated working on filling the tub. It got halfway full before the hot water ran out. I called the Erin, the midwife at 7:10 to let her know that I would be needing her later.

I didn't think things were going very quickly, so told her I'd call back in 2 hours. By 8:00, I was sitting on the birthing ball moaning like a cow and they were probably coming every 2-5 minutes, but I still didn't think it was time. It felt like they were really short, but it turns out they were lasting a full 60 secs. At one point, I said to myself, I don't think I can do this! Then I said, of course you can Anne, you ARE doing it. Then I laughed at myself and said, gee, it sounds like you're in transition...Naaa, it's only been an hour or so!

8:15 I had to poop, so I sat on the toilet and pooped away. Then I continued pooping with almost every contraction and couldn't get off the damm pot! Emma was a little worried about all the noises I was making, so Shawn brought her upstairs so she could see that I was ok. In between OOOOOOooooooooosssssssss, I said Mommy's ok honey, Mommy's ok. At 8:20, they were coming every 2-3 minutes and I knew we needed to call the midwife and that it was probably going to be too late. Shawn was downstairs because Emma was being needy and not chilling with her aunt, uncle and Lola and I couldn't get off the toilet to call Erin back! He finally came back and we called at 8:43.

At 8:50, I grunted with a contraction and felt the urge to push. I checked myself, and felt the head just inside my vagina. I knew we were on our own. I said, "Shawn, the baby's coming. Get Brooke!" Brooke is our neighbor who was helping out with Emma. She ran upstairs, I told her which stuff to bring in from the birth kit in the bedroom. Then I started pushing. I was protecting my perineum with my left hand, flexing the head with my right, and slowly delivered the head. Then I checked for a nuchal cord, (cord around the neck) actually said the words, "No nuchal cord," and Shawn and I delivered the shoulders. I pushed some more, and all four of our hands brought her to my chest. Brooke snapped photos the whole time, so we have the entire sequence. It's pretty awesome. Emma came upstairs a few moments later, met the baby, then went back down. I dried baby off, Brooke got me fresh towels, preped the bed, brought me a blue chux to tuck between my legs. I waddled to the bed with baby in my arms and the cord still attached to placenta between my legs. The Mairi and Erin arrived at 9:15, just in time to deliver the placenta and cut the cord. The midwives checked my bottom and I only had a couple of small tears that weren't bleeding, so we left them alone to heal on their own.

Emma got in the tub afterwards, so it wasn't a total waste of money. Just mostly :)

So that's my crazy birth story. Now we are well and working on breastfeeding. My nipples hurt, but otherwise we are okay. Emma is doing a pretty good job adjusting. She has some whiny moments, but otherwise is good.

Full term tomorrow

Tomorrow is 37 weeks, which is technically full term.

I think I'm about as ready as I'm going to be. I've got my home birth kit all set up in the guest room closet, the trial run of the tub has been done and Shawn knows what he's doing with it. I need to find some ammonia to clean afterwards, and I need to stock up on some Coke and snacks. Other than that, we are ready. Shawn put the new car seat in my car and set up the Amby Baby bassinet in our room. Emma is having a good time putting her animals in there and rocking them to sleep.

Last night, I brought in the 6th pillow to sleep with. I now have 3 under my head for the massive heartburn, one under my belly, one supporting my back, and a pillow plus light blanket for extra height between my knees. It's getting a little ridiculous. Shawn can barely roll over. I am pretty uncomfortable now. My back hurts, the heartburn is crazy, as is the shortness of breath. Shawn said my breathing sounded like a snake slithering through dry leaves because I have so much extra mucus.

I will continue to be patient though and let this baby come when he or she is ready. We still don't have names that we both absolutely love anyway. I keep hoping for that Eureka moment when we will know the names are right. Of course it may all change once we meet the baby, but I want to have a few options that I love before that happens.

Emma the two year old is wonderful and frustrating. I am learning to deal with her outbursts though. Most of the time they are bad when she is either hungry or tired, so I am getting better at anticipating those needs, or intervening earlier when she is melting down beyond repair. Yesterday, she hugged my belly and said, "I love you, Baby." It was so stinking cute, I almost cried. Then latter in the day she said, "Mommy, you so beautiful." I am overwhelmed with love for her. I think that's why I've been able to bond so much more with this pregnancy. I know how fantastic motherhood is and I can't wait to do it some more. Emma is so great, I can only imagine how much I'm going to love this one too. It is such a gift to watch them grow and learn. I am honored to be able to do it again.

35 weeks

I am 35 weeks pregnant with baby number two and my Emmaline is two years old.

It's so cliche, but seriously, where does the time go? Preparing for the birth of this baby, it feels like I gave birth to Emma just a few months ago. We are having a home birth this time and I am really looking forward to it. I love my midwives and I love that I'm not going to have to drive anywhere while in active labor! I have my birth kit just about ready. I have to wash the washcloths and put the flashlight in the box, but other than that, I think I'm done. Of course I'll think of something else tomorrow night when I am again up at 3am because I got up to pee and couldn't go back to sleep. We have been practicing our hypnobirthing techniques every night and I've been doing my birth affirmations just about every morning. I am feeling fairly prepared, but still glad I have a few more weeks to keep working on it. We ordered a tub, which should be here in a few days. I wasn't feeling apprehensive at all until yesterday when I looked back at my birth photos with Emma. I remember labor being intense, but not painful. Looking at my pictures, my face sure looks like I was in pain! I am thinking that those photos were actually of me either feeling the urge to push, or actually pushing. Either way, it made me a little nervous. I think I might have to do a little fear release session to let those images go.

We moved Emma into the slightly bigger guest room to make room for two cribs in there. She handled the transition beautifully and is doing quite well. She pats and kisses my belly and asks to see Baby all the time. We are doing lots of reading and talking about Baby. She helped me put the new diapers away and talks about sharing her blankets and old clothes with Baby. I am struggling a bit with where to put stuff. I think I'll get an over the door organizer for Baby's diaper stuff so that it is readily at hand instead of the two steps away station that we have for Emma. The dresser is completely full and the closet is getting there. We also need a ton more diapers.

Work is going well. I am really enjoying being with the students and also being out in the Midwifery community again. Of course right now, all I want to do is get my nest together, but I'm working on a balance. I should have all my visits done at 37 weeks and then I just have to wrap up the paperwork. I have a few problem children who need extra time and attention, but some are pulling it together. I am worried about two of them though. One seems to have both the motivation and the ability to get herself together, and the other two just can't seem to do it. I know that they want to, I'm just not sure if they are capable of it. We'll see.

A few months ago, Desi called to offer to throw me a baby shower. I was so touched because I didn't think anyone would do that for my second baby! We made it coed and I put together a pretty good list of friends that I thought would come. As of the day before, only 3 friends were coming along with family, spouses and children. But the day came and only one friend showed up.

I can say I understand.

I can say that I should be honored that anyone bothered to come for Baby number 2.

I can say that I understand that people are busy and have other things to do.

But it doesn't change that fact that I feel deeply hurt. Especially when I see facebook status' of friends who RSVPd no with important updates like going grocery shopping and having breakfast with other people. Shawn felt terrible for me. He asked if it would have been better if he had gotten a cake and flowers and balloons, but I said it just would have made the lack more obvious. As it was, Desi bought food for 20. I can't help but feel slighted. I'm sure I'll get over it. But it's only been a few days and I am still just sad. No one came to my party. Ok. Not no one, but hardly anyone. At least Emma had a good playdate. My one friend who did show up is the most caring person in the world. She did such a good job of turning the attention back to me and the fact that we are welcoming a new baby into the world. We talked expanding diaper bags, breastfeeding, birthing, and sibling preparation. As the mama of 4 amazing children, I value her advice! She was perfect and I am grateful that she is a part of my life.

Well. It is now almost 4am so I should probably try to go back to sleep. It feels good to get some of that out of my head.

New Job

Add a new job to pregnancy and life with a toddler and I am wondering if I have taken leave of my senses.

I started working with Georgetown University's Midwifery department last week. I am the clinical site visitor, which means I will spend my time wrangling the schedules of 13 students ad trying to visit them all at their clinical sites before the semester ends. This wouldn't be nearly so difficult if I didn't start the job 4 weeks before the semester ends and one of those weeks is Thanksgiving so no Thursday or Friday clinicals. Then I have students hemming and hawing about which days I come because they don't like who they are with on the day that I will observe, or their schedule changes every week and they don't know what that schedule will be until the week before. I am pulling my hair out. I haven't napped in days! I am hoping the next semesters will not be so bad because I will be there from the beginning and part of the planning. This sucks though.

It will be good to be in the adult world again for a few days a week. We found a nanny for Emma who is pretty flexible with her schedule and it seems to be working out. Emma is happy with her and that's all that really matters.

Parenting sucess story

We have been taking Emma for walks around the block a few times a week with the weather being as nice has it has been. She loves looking at the changing leaves and always carries a stick or a leaf around with her. Her adventurous spirit seemed boundless until we came upon some seed pods. These are long, brownish-black things that fall from a few trees in our neighborhood and Emma was terrified of them. I mean stop dead in her tracks and not move a muscle terrified. We would have to pick her up and carry them over the dang things to keep going. We tried showing them to her, soothing her, distracting her, and finally kicked them off of the path, but she wouldn't go near them. For days, this went on. Each day we would try to help her get over her fear, holding them ourselves, crunching them under our feet, and laughing at their silly shape and sound.

After about a week of this, Emma and I were walking alone, and again she stopped short at the seed pods. I squatted down with her, and picked up one of the pods. We had been going to a music class and she loves the maracas, so I got a burst of inspiration. I said, "Look Emma, see how they make noise when you shake them?" She seemed interested and didn't shy away. Then I showed her how they fell from the tree above us and had seeds inside. I opened them up and handed her a seed to inspect (then took it out of her mouth!) and reminded her about how seeds make trees, just like in one of our books. Then, I showed her what a great sound it made when you throw it, and that did it! She picked up a pod and threw it on the ground. Her little face lit up as she listened to the rattle. Then she went around picking them up, throwing them, and applauding herself every time. It felt so great to help her through her fear. I don't want her to be a fearful child and this was the first time she has really shown any trepidation about anything. Now she walks past them without a second glance.

I'm pregnant!

It took 13 months to conceive Emma, and 2 for baby number 2! I am so glad I made us wait!! Shawn was anxious to start trying as soon as Emma turned 1, but boy I did not want 2 babies under 2. The nausea began about 3 days after conception so I tested super early. If figured if I wasn't pregnant, there was something seriously wrong with me. The stick turned blue at 3 weeks and 4 days. I am now almost 12 weeks and am feeling much better. The nausea went away last week and I am getting a little bit of energy back. I still take 2 hour naps with Emma, don't get me wrong, but I don't feel like collapsing at 8:30 any more. We are going to have a home birth with this one. I am so excited about it! Emma's labor and birth was so wonderful and peaceful, except for the drive to the birth center. I feel like I did it before, I can do it again, and there will be no driving involved :) We are going with a midwifery practice called M.A.M.A.S. Midwives and I know and respect both midwives. I think it will be a good fit. It's expensive, but I think it will be worth it. We are going to rent a tub and set it up in the living room. It will be so great to bring this new life into the world in the loving environment of our own home. We have a hospital 5 minutes up the road if we need it, but I am sure everything will be fine. What did I say to myself my whole pregnancy with Emma? 90% of pregnancy, labor, and birth are normal. It will be great. Shawn is super excited too and totally on board. We are going to do Hypnobirthing again.

Another baby! Emma is going to be such a good big sister. She is so great with other kids, and gentle with babies. I am happy.

Seattle anniversary

Shawn and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on the 5th of July. We took Emmaline to Seattle to visit Aunt Judy, Uncle Roy, Lauren, and the Garman's. We had a wonderful time hanging out with family and friends. We left Emma with Aunt Judy and Lauren on the 5th and had a lovely romantic 24 hours away. We stayed at the Fairmont Olympic right next to the Seattle Museum of Art (which was closed) and had dinner at restaurant called Tilth. The desk clerk upgraded us to an executive suite in celebration of our anniversary and sent up "Happy Honeymoon" chocolate covered strawberries. We had an uninterrupted nap, an excellent dinner, and slept in before a decadent brunch. We were both missing Emma, so we cut the morning short and went back to the house to relieve Lauren. It was so great to get away for a little bit, and Emma did just fine. We haven't been doing that very much and we need to take more time for each other. We decided that we need to have a date at least twice a month. Emma was so great with the Delgado's, I feel like she will be fine with the neighbors so we can go for a dinner date once in a while. She went to sleep just fine, only woke once, and was soothed back to sleep with a few simple words from Lauren.

It was great to spend time with Shanti and her new little one, Ellie. Mira was also really good with Emma, helping to hold her hand and keep her steady on her new feet. We went to the zoo, and Golden Gardens, and just hung out. Shanti's neighborhood was having a kids street festival and Emma got a balloon and a toy ring. It was a lovely time.

We had the whole spectrum of weather, from cold and cloudy to hot and sunny. The sunny days were so beautiful, it made me feel like I could live there, but the cloudiness was too much. Shawn and I get cranky enough during east coast winters, I don't think we could handle the pacific northwest!


Elisa (Ellie) Garman


Shawn and Emma at the zoo.


Shanti, Mira, Ellie and me at the zoo.


Emma's prize from the festival.


Emma with her balloon, ring and daddy.


Emma and Mira playing in the sand at Golden Gardens.


Lauren and Emma at Golden Gardens.